Today's writing prompt asked what is most versatile about me. Hands down, the answer is my hair. The color changes one a pretty regular basis, between reds, blondes and pastels. I used to think the cuts changed a lot, too, but as I look through pictures, it appears that I cycle through the same three or four. It never goes longer than a chin-length bob, but shorter is better for me.
I was born bald, and they say I didn't really grow hair until I was two. Even then it was wispy, blonde cotton. It tangled easily, and I often woke in the mornings with what my mom called a bird's nest in the back. As a result, it was kept pretty short when I was young.
My hair was white blonde until I got into high school. Hormones. It slowly turned into that dishwater blonde that no one really likes or chooses. Still, it was blonde. There is a certain amount of attention that blonde hair attracts. That is both a positive and a negative. It's particularly hard for a shy child.
After I got married, I went to cosmetology school. It was a great place to learn, experiment and be inspired. Yet, I clung to my blonde hair. So many women were paying me money to get what I had naturally. However, my blonde continued to darken. When I finally added blonde highlights, I felt reborn. And I was hooked. I stayed blonde and I continued to lighten it more and more until it was platinum. It stayed that way for years.
The first time I changed to red was completely by accident. All it takes is a few drops of red dye left in a color bottle to make a real mess of porous, white hair. It was an adjustment, but when I looked in the mirror, I felt "natural". My biological aunt and uncle have red hair. When I looked at me, I saw them looking back.
That first time that I colored my hair red, I felt like a different person. It felt like I stepped into a new life. My make-up was different. My clothes changed. People responded to me differently. I felt like I was more able to "blend in". For years I was content to be red during the fall & winter, then be blonde for the spring & summer.
When I discovered fashion colors - neons, pastels, silvers and brights- my world changed. I was able to express myself, my creativity, through my hair. I no longer felt the need to conform to what had so long been expected of me. I didn't choose these colors to attract attention, as some believe. I just felt like I was finally able to show who I really was.
Over the past couple years it has become increasingly more difficult for me to return to blonde. I've come to realize through a lot of therapy, that I associate all the bad things that happened in my life (child abuse, molestation, sexual assault) with being blonde. That makes it hard for me to want to go there. However, being blonde also feels the most comfortable, the most like home. It turns out that the versatility of my hair, it's chameleon-like adaptation, has been a source of healing for me. It allows me to work through painful events without looking it in the face every time I look into the mirror.
I'm platinum right now. Of course, it's summer so that makes sense. But I'm content to be this way.
That's my versatility. What's yours?
