I have lived a lot of places. That means I have known a lot of people, some of whom I thought were good friends. It's easy to fall into this false sense of security when you live near someone and see them on a regular basis. When you move away, however, it becomes painfully clear how one-sided most of these relationships were.
I've fought a long, hard battle (one I continue to fight) to overcome tragedies and pain from my past. Letting people "in" is still a conscious choice; one I don't make lightly. But what is the point of all this growth and healing, of letting people in and being vulnerable to them, if they drop me as soon as I'm out of their sight?
I've come to realize that even when we were "together", I was the one who did all the inviting and planning, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised it isn't any different now. How are people content with this? How is it okay to just drop people? It's a sad commentary on the human state, our selfishness and self-centeredness.
Well, I've decided I am important. I am worth people's time. I have a lot to offer. And I'm no longer going to be the chaser. If you don't have time for me, I guess that's your choice. And your loss. I guess you might notice, but I'm not going to hold my breath. That could take too long.
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