I recently bought a book called "400 Writing Prompts". I was thumbing through it this morning and came across this: "Do you think the eyes are the window to a person's soul? What does eye contact mean to you?" Hmmm. Seemed simple at first, but as I think about it, it churns a lot within me.
My early childhood was rough. I learned to not be noticed, to not be seen. I watched all that went on, but was quick to avert my eyes if someone looked my way. If they made eye contact, then they would know I saw what happened. As a result, I feel eye contact is extremely personal. I avoid it in most circumstances. It was such a problem in elementary and middle school that the teachers would send notes to my mom about it. They thought maybe I was delayed, or just not understanding them. I understood full well. Their drawing attention to my lack of eye contact only made me not want to do it more.
I avoid eye contact because in most situations, with most people, I don't care to share that much of myself with people. I have a pretty good poker face. I have learned coping skills throughout the years that enable me to keep my emotions in check. But my eyes? They betray me every time. My eyes are green, but they change color when I am angry or, I loathe to say it, scared. There's not a lot of people I have let close enough to notice that fact. I guess now there will be more who notice.
But here's the kicker. As much as I dislike eye contact, I don't like talking to someone and not being able to see their eyes, especially if it is an important conversation. I need to see their eyes to gauge their reactions, to see if they're being honest, to know if they understand. I hate talking to someone who is wearing sunglasses! I know it sounds like a double standard. It's a protection mechanism. I want to size them up, but I don't want to be sized up. I want to see things in them but not be seen.
So, yes. The eyes are the windows to the soul. They both see and show.
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