death

My son is attending a memorial service for his friend tonight.

It's the first time anyone close to him has died and made worse by the fact that she was only 17. I offered to go with him. He said "no" but his tone let me know he wasn't so sure of that answer. So, I agreed not to go.

I busied myself ironing his dress clothes, three shirts in all, til he decided what he wanted to wear. He preened like he would for a date with his girlfriend, which kind of confused me. But I think it was in respect for his friend, a sign of her importance to him.

Death is a part of life, but I don't like that children have to experience it or it's effects. I was just over 3 when my own mother died. I don't think there was a service. If there was, I don't remember it. But I do remember going to the funeral of an older cousin when I was about 7. Seeing him lying in that casket opened a floodgate of emotions I didn't know existed. Death is not easily understood as a child. Sometimes, even as an adult, I still don't understand it. But I will be here to help my son through it.