church hurts

I didn't go to church today. The pastor is away and I wasn't thrilled to listen to the guest speaker. Let's just say it's a personality clash.

Being home got me thinking. I wonder what the rate of relapse is for people who have been hurt by someone in their church. You know, not necessarily "back sliding", but falling into old patterns.

For me it was a piece of cake to stop trusting people again. I had invested so many years into trying to change, giving an honest effort to trust others in my life, not avoiding relationships or blocking everyone who reached out to me. I had made excellent progress. But all it took for me to drop all that growth was for a few very important people in my life to decide they needed to turn my life upside-down.

The pain of their actions is no longer fresh. I'm not consumed anymore with trying to understand why they did what they did. I'm no longer afraid of running into them in public, though I'm in no way wanting to spend time with them. And that got me thinking, too.

If I don't want to spend time with someone, another Christian, here on earth what will happen in Heaven? I know it'll be huge and that just being in God's presence will will consume a huge chunk of my time. But what will happen when/if I see them? It's not like God is going to keep us seperated.