Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The new normal

The problem with having an "invisible" disease is that no one knows you're "sick".  I am in pain every single day; just some days are less pain-filled than others.  It's a big adjustment for me.  I went from being a healthy, active person to one who can barely get out of bed some days.

There's a lot of things I can't do anymore, like open jars, work out every day, put in a full day's work or have sex as often as I'd like.  But I do what I can, when I can, hoping things don't pile up too much when I can't.  In my attempts to feel normal, I sometimes overdo it.  That's my fault.  But it doesn't mean you shouldn't let me try to do it again the next time.

This is my new normal.  I'm tired of being in pain and feeling bad.  I'm tired of feeling bad because people think I should be who I used to be and do everything I used to be able to do.  This is not about you.  It's about me.  I did not choose this, but I have to live with it.  And live I will.

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