Sunday, January 13, 2013

A foggy mind

I haven't written anything for the past couple days because I just didn't have anything positive to say.  I'm really trying to keep this from just turning into my daily bitch and moan session, but I realize not saying something positive isn't particularly a negative.  Sometimes there's just nothing to say.

I continue to struggle through health issues which have been compounded by the crazy foggy weather we've had here the past days.  Painting both bathrooms in one day probably didn't help either.  But it needed done.  (As if painting the bathrooms would be the deciding factor in if someone buys our house.)

I feel like a transient with no real home.  How is that possible?  How can I be here, surrounding by my family and "things", yet feel so out of place?  I once said the only place I feel 100 percent comfortable is at home.  But somewhere along the way that changed.  The fibromyalgia and arthirits combo pretty much ensure I never feel comfortable, physically, ANYwhere.  And the psyche makes it's own demands.  I need somewhere to belong.

This has nothing to do with having friends (I do) or a loving family (I do).  It's about being where I am supposed to be.  Some place where everybody knows my name.  Sorry, the Cheers theme passed through my mind.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not looking to be famous, praised or leave a physical legacy.  But I do want to touch people.  To make a differnce in their life for the better.  To  help those I come in contact with toknow they are loved, important, respected and have value.

Life is sacred and every human has worth.  I'm not suggesting we just overlook the evil people do, but it's up to God to judge.  I don't know what's going on in another's heart.  That's probably for the best.  The things in mine could, at times, be horrifying to others. 



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