Some people's families

I was adopted when I was 10 years old.

The thing about being adopted at that age means I was old enough to remember that I'd had another family.  Most of the memories I had about the paternal side of that family were violent and hurtful.  As an adult, I realized the need for boundaries and I ended contact with them.

Through the wonders of modern technology a long lost relative from that side found me some time ago.  I set up boundaried with her right from the start, and told her the consequences of breaching them.  Sure enough, she did the one thing I asked her not to do; she told them about me and showed them pictures of my kids.  The result?  No more contact.

Imagine my surprise when I found a card in the mail from her today.  It contained a picture of her with her grandkids and a charming letter telling me how "hurt, bitter and troubled" I am.  I used to receive the same kind of greetings from her mother.  It solidified in my mind that I'd made the right choice in unfriending her.  Did she honestly think that writing all those things, then signing it "love always", was going to send me running into her arms?  I honestly don't understand people. 

Why am I considered the bad person for deciding to protect myself and my family from this kind of abuse?  I wish people had a better understanding of how their action affect others.  Just becasue we share some blood does not make us the same, nor does it automatically mean we will mesh.  Being blood does not give you the right to abuse me.  And I don't care what you think about it.

I am beyond grateful for the family that adopted me, that rescued me from the hell  that was once my family.  No family is perfect, but they did their best to love and nurture me, to help me overcome the obstacles my birth family had placed in my life, to heal from abuse and neglect.

I have worked hard to follow nurture, not nature.  Every scar I have, whether physical or emotional, marks a victory to me.  I have overcome.  I have endured.  I am ALIVE.  My story is mine.  So are my choices.  I own them.  No regrets.

I'll take the family who picked me over the one who dumped me anyday.